“Mindset stuff is a load of tosh” – I’ve heard this so many times from new business owners.
And if you’d have approached me the first few months into my business, I’d be like “What are you waffling about?.”
But there comes a time when you need to master your mindset.
- You realise you’ve been holding yourself back.
- You know what you ‘should’ be doing to market your services, but don’t act.
- You find you’re procrastinating and avoiding things that could propel you forward.
And it comes down to the story you’re telling yourself.
As you become more aware and leave behind that start-up stage (your unconscious incompetence) and develop into a new awareness (your conscious incompetence — by the way I hate that word), you start to doubt yourself.
Many of us develop a voice in our heads that says things like:
- Who am I to be doing this?
- What will people think?
- What will people say?
- What if I say something wrong?
- What if I look silly?
- What if I fail?
- What if no one cares?
What if, what if, what if.
So how do you get past it, and why is it essential to work on your visibility mindset?
Why do you need to get visible?
When it comes to growing your business and attracting new clients, we need to be seen, heard and to gain trust.
If you’re not showing up, if no one knows you exist, how can you help the people you want to serve?
These stories that we tell ourselves are what hold us back. They make us believe we aren’t capable or good enough, and that we won’t achieve what we want to achieve.
The thing is, it’s a song we’ve chosen to play, and it’s time to change the track.
How do you embrace a visibility mindset?
Start by understanding the story you’re telling yourself.
- What is that voice saying?
- How does it make me feel?
- What is the real story
- What am I making it mean?
Here is an example of the fear of being judged:
“What if someone thinks I look silly?”
But we are also telling ourselves the story:
“If they think I look silly, they won’t want to work with me and won’t become a client, which I need right now. Because if I don’t get any clients then I’ll not be able to do this anymore, and I’d have to go get a job, which I don’t want to do because…”
As you can see, we might feel like someone will judge us, but it means so much more.
We make it mean something more significant, such as our business is going to fail.
Once you have an awareness of what the real story is, you can challenge it and reframe it.
Challenge it. Reframe it.
Is it true?
To challenge the story you’re telling yourself start by looking at the evidence. Is there anything to suggest this is true?
Based on the example “What if someone thinks I look silly?”:
- Is there any evidence that someone thinks this? Is someone saying this to you?
- If one person doesn’t want to work with you, will you have to stop doing what you do and get a job?
What is true?
Next, take some time to figure out what is true.
Based on the same example, your truth might look like:
- “I feel silly doing this, and I think others will see that.”
- “I don’t think I’m professional enough.”
As you can see, it all comes back to how you perceive yourself or what you are making things mean. So how do you flip the switch?
Build a New Story
Firstly, start by asking yourself, why do you feel or think this?
I’ll use “I feel silly doing this, and I think others will see that.” as an example:
In the scenario, perhaps you’re doing something new like recording a video and feel a bit awkward. But isn’t that natural? You’ve never done it before, or you don’t do it often.
And if your truth is “I don’t think I’m professional enough.”
Then perhaps that’s because you’re sharing more of who you are, and putting your personality into your content.
But wouldn’t that help people see you as authentic and genuine, and help them to trust you better?
Once you know why you feel or think that way, you can flipping it to either accept that it’s okay or to empower you to improve.
Remember we all start somewhere and the more you do something, the easier it gets.
I’m not one for looking in the mirror stating daily affirmations, but having words that you say to yourself in a situation when you need it can be really powerful.
Say you’re about to publish a deeply personal post, and you start to worry what people will think or say.
In this situation, you could use affirmations to change the script in your head.
Here are a few suggestions for affirmations you can say to yourself:
- My experiences are inspiring and can help others grow.
- I have gifts that need to be shared with the world.
- I possess the qualities needed to be successful.
- I am courageous and inspire others.
- Many people recognise my value and worth.
What if you don’t master a visibility mindset?
I want to end with one simple questions to consider:
What will life look like in 6 months if you don’t move past this?
Take some time to write your answer down on a piece of paper.
Think about how you will feel. Visualise what you’ll be doing and how your business and life will look.
Then do the same for what your life and business could look like if you do.
If you’d like more advice and inspiration on how to get visible, then come and join Letters From An Introvert mailing list. I’d love to see you there!