Do you feel your ideas or thoughts are insignificant? – Stop Self-Silencing EP #7

By Fifi Mason

Have you ever hesitated to share your opinion, a story about your life, or to add your two-cents because you thought it didn’t matter?

Have you kept your ideas to yourself, believing they weren’t good enough or wouldn’t make an impact?

Maybe you’ve been about to say something or post on social media, you have thoughts like, ‘Why would anyone care?’, ‘Why would they listen to me?’, ‘Nothing I have to say is that unique or interesting’, and ‘What I have to say has probably already been said before.’

These thoughts are more common than you might realise, especially for us quieter types, who are naturally introspective and aren’t used to sharing our inner thoughts as openly or as readily.

This is another core reason you might be self-silencing, because you feel that our thoughts and ideas are insignificant.

Why Do You Feel People Don’t Care?

A big part of this feeling comes from internalising past experiences where our opinions were overlooked or undervalued.

Over time, these experiences can build up. Perhaps there were times in a classroom, or a work meeting, or even within your own family settings where your ideas were dismissed or not taken seriously. These moments, especially when they happen over and over, send a message that our thoughts are not worth sharing.

Also, social media plays a role in this. We’re constantly bombarded with voices and opinions, many of which come from people with large followings or from recognised authority figures.

Many who are more extroverted outgoing types, making us feel like our quieter voices are just a drop in the ocean, unlikely to be heard or to make an impact.

There’s also the element of self-comparison. Often, we measure our own ideas against those of others we perceive as more successful, more articulate, or more knowledgeable. This constant comparison can impact our self-confidence and reinforce the belief that our thoughts are not significant enough to even share.

Another reason why we might feel our thoughts and ideas are insignificant is our tendency to seek external validation. 

Often, we gauge the value of what we shared based on the reactions and responses of others. If our ideas are met with enthusiasm and approval, we feel validated. But, if the response is lukewarm and non-existent, we start to question ourselves.

This constant need for approval from others can trap us in a never-ending cycle, where our confidence hinges on external validation rather than acknowledging the worth and value of our own thoughts and perspectives.

Each one of these reasons creates a mindset where we undervalue our own ideas and contributions. It’s a mindset that not only affects how we interact with the world around us but also how we see ourselves.

How Do We Move Past The Feeling That People Don’t Care?

I want to share with you one of my Impact Rules; one of the rules that guides me and my approach to showing up.

The rule is: Approach new things with an experimental mindset, treat them as opportunities for learning and growth.

Also known as; The Experiment Mentality. This encourages you to approach posting something on social media or doing something new in your business as an experiment.

Instead of feeling the pressure to get it “perfect,” you’re simply testing a hypothesis and gathering data. You’re just putting things out there to see what sticks.

The Experiment Mentality

While telling yourself this is just a experiment to see what will happen, can work to motivate you to try something new.

Making it a more structured process, could help take your mind off of the worries and focus on taking action. So with that in mind, here are the steps that you could follow:

Step 1: Formulate Your Hypothesis

Start with an idea or a goal—say, you want to create a new type of video. What do you expect to happen? Keep your expectations realistic and think about the impact you’re aiming for.

Step 2: Conduct the Experiment

Set a time frame and go for it. But be sure to give yourself enough time to collect enough data, depending on what your goals are. 

For example: Say you decide to try YouTube Shorts, you could make 5 at time to see how each compares, and aim to keep them going for about 90 days. This gives you loads of data to get a good ideas of what is and isn’t working.

Step 3: Analyse the Results

Now, take a look at what happened. Did things go as expected? What could be better? 

Step 4: Iterate

Use what you’ve learned to tweak your approach and try again. Maybe adjust your content based on the feedback and see how it goes.

The MindSet Shift

This approach can bring a shift in perspective, and move you from believing your ideas don’t matter, to understanding that you just haven’t yet found the way they resonate with your audience yet.

It’s about testing the waters, sharing your thoughts, and observing the response. You might be surprised at how your ideas do resonate with others.

You could start by sharing small thoughts or ideas in a low-stakes environment (online communities or with peers), and gradually build up as you gain more confidence. 

I did this when I started talking about self-silencing and Impact Rules. My first conversations about it were with industry connections, to gauge their response.

So try engage with your audience or peers, and get their feedback. Remember, not every idea will stick, and that’s okay. The key is to keep testing, keep sharing, and learn from each experience.

Are Your Seeking Validation?

Another part of this process is to shift our focus from seeking validation to contributing meaningfully. 

Ask yourself, ‘How can my perspective add value here?’ rather than ‘Will my idea be liked?’ By doing this, you align your mindset with contribution and growth, rather than approval-seeking.

Consider your thoughts and ideas as seeds. Some might bloom, others might not, but what’s important is that we keep planting them. Keep testing, keep experimenting, and watch as your garden of ideas grows.

Your Ideas Do Matter

Each one of us has unique perspectives and insights that can bring new understandings and enrich people’s lives. 

As you move forward, I encourage you to embrace this experimental mindset. Share your thoughts, listen to the responses, and keep refining your approach. It’s not about getting it right every time; it’s about growing, learning, and contributing in a way that’s meaningful to you and your audience.

For more insights, check out my book “Stop Self-Silencing”, and if you want support from me to help you on your visibility journey as an impact maker or coach, join my mini-membership The Visibility Lab.

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